A Christmas martyr--ME!

"I'm just trying to survive December."

"We are unbelievably busy." "

If I don't get all this done, Christmas won't happen at my house."

When someone asks me how I am doing during the holiday season, are statements like the above the best testimony I have to offer as a follower of Christ? Does anything about my mindset and frenetic pace resembles the peace, love, and joy that I claim Jesus came to give me?

Who will be drawn to a Savior who appears to induce his followers to stampede through the mall, dive into debt, drag themselves to party after party, wrap gifts in coordinated paper and bow sets, set out a lavish display of lights, moan and groan about how busy they are, and then wind up exhausted, all in honor of his birthday?

Don't get me wrong; I LOVE the Christmas season!!! I look forward to decorating our tree with ornaments made by my grandmother, I love to make sugar cookies and other treats with my girls, I love to listen to Christmas music and drive around looking at our neighbors' light displays, and I enjoy the looks on my daughter's faces as they exuberantly rip the paper off a brand new Barbie doll or razor scooter.

But, especially since I have had children, I have begun running myself ragged at an increasingly alarming rate. I feel I have lost all balance; often, I don't enjoy the things that I am doing. Instead, I am just doing them because I believe I'm obligated, or because "we've always done it that way." Sometimes my attitude stinks, and I snap at those I love, which my family can attest to. The expression on my face as I don my holiday sweater says it all: "I am a martyr for the cause of Christmas merriment, suffering to make everything appear perfect so my family can have the holiday season of their dreams."

I have decided it is time for a redo! So, our family is going to still celebrate Christmas and do the things that we really enjoy, but we are going to delete other things that drain our time and money and leave us frazzled and broke.

Here are a few things we are going to do differently:

1) I have cooked a bunch of soups and casseroles this fall and put them in the freezer. I have enough food stocked to feed us most nights when we don't have a party or other engagement. I don't have to worry about what my family is going to eat for dinner. That means when I am whipping up something in my kitchen, it will be a seasonal favorite (like Hello Dollies or chocolate bon-bons) that I relish making!

2) We are going to learn to say "no," even to some good things. Neither we nor our children have to go to every party, event, or celebration that we are invited to. Some nights, it would be more enjoyable and soothing for all of us to sit in front of the fire and the Christmas tree eating popcorn, drinking hot cocoa, and listening to Christmas music, so that is what we will do.

3) I am a huge fan online shopping! In a few hours, I can get the bulk of my shopping done, and have gifts delivered right to my door! This can be done while the girls are in school or after bedtime, and there is no hurry, rush, and stress of going to a zillion different stores, fighting crowds, and trying to find a parking place.

4) We are going to reach out to others this season who need love and assistance. Our goal is to not spend more time and money on ourselves than we spend on those who are poor, hungry, afflicted, sick, and lonely. I am sure we will fall far short in this area, but I believe it is a worthy goal. If we want to truly honor Jesus' birthday, there is no better way than to genuinely care for the people (all of us) that he came to save! (Some ideas for this will be coming in another post).

Ironically, I expect that doing and spending less this Christmas will not decrease the joy, peace, and love that we claim we desire, instead, I believe it will increase it. My hope is that on December 26, we will not be staring at piles and piles of wrapping paper, Christmas decorations which have to be taken down, gifts and toys that have already lost their shine, bloated credit card bills, and wonder why we went to so much trouble and stressed ourselves out in the first place.

Instead, I hope to look back on a month that, although harried at times, was calm, enjoyable, and had many memorable moments. I hope that we will feel blessed and like we have blessed others as well. I hope to have taken the time to slow down enough to really spend time with Jesus (it's his birthday, after all), and feel we have honored Him with our thoughts, our time, and our pocketbooks.

Perhaps, this year, for the first time, my response when asked how I am doing during the holidays can be:

"I can't believe how blessed I am."

"I am thoroughly enjoying myself."

"God is good!"

Hustle and Bustle Sabbath

What is up with all the kids activities on Sunday? Has anyone else noticed a huge uptick in the volume of games, tournaments, performances, practices, and birthday parties scheduled for the day of the week that is meant to give us all a break?

Of the ten commandments, the command to "keep the Sabbath" is not a rule to be followed as much as it is a gift to us. We need one day a week to take it easy, break from work, relax with family and friends, and worship together if we so choose. The same God who created the universe chose to take a day of rest as an example to us, because he knows we need it--mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

In reading the Old Testament, I am struck by how much the Israelites had on their plates--growing their own food, caring for flocks of animals, cleaning, cooking, and doing laundry without any of our modern conveniences, raising very large families, building their own homes, often travelling a great distance on foot or horseback for food and supplies, and protecting themselves from marauding invaders. Yet on the Sabbath (which for them, was Saturday), everyone put everything down, took a deep breath, and rested so they would be rejuvenated for the coming weeks' work.

However, in the 21st century, most Americans have decided we're too busy to stop being busy. The break neck pace of modern life makes a regular time to slow down and rest more necessary than ever, yet some families' Sunday schedules are beginning to rival their ultra-packed Saturday schedules.

Children are suffering more from stress and anxiety than previous generations, and their has even been a term coined for over scheduled children that are pressured to do more and more: Hurried Child Syndrome. Could part of the problem be not just the amount of homework, activities, social engagements, etc., but the fact that there is not even one day they can count on to slow down and recharge their batteries?

I am not a legalist; I am not suggesting that it is wrong to participate in any activities on Sunday. I just wish that it were more of exception, and not the rule. For example, if Mika and Macy had a tournament, play-off game, or performance a few times a year on a Sunday, that would not be a problem. I'm not real keen on Sunday birthday parties, but I would gladly let my girls attend a Sunday party if one of their good friends was celebrating her birthday.

A number of people I have talked to said that they, too, wish that there weren't so many activities scheduled on Sunday, but then they say with resignation, "but if my child wants to [play baseball, be in this musical production, compete at this level in dance, etc.] we have no choice than to show up when we're told, and that includes Sundays."

Which brings me to the question: when did we, as a society, decide that it was okey-dokey to schedule so many activities, as a matter of course, on Sunday? I grew up next door to my best friend Donna, who had three older brothers. All four were athletes, playing many different sports in community leagues and in school. Donna was also into cheer leading, choir, and piano. Her parents were very busy Monday through Saturday shuttling kids to practices, games, rehearsals, etc. However, on Sunday, with rare exceptions, the activities for their children ceased, and kids, their parents, coaches, and teachers took a much needed break.

My kids are still young and I'm sure in a few short years I'll probably have to eat my words because they may both be involved in activities that require regular Sunday participation. However, we will think long and hard before committing to an Sunday activity that is going to change what we really like to do on Sunday--relax, spend time together as a family, invite people into our home for a leisurely lunch, and worship together at church.

Why should we have to make a choice between allowing our kids be involved in the things that they want to do and having a day of rest? Does anyone else have concerns about how busy Sundays have become? Any ideas on how to keep Sundays sane would be appreciated!

Run, Angels, Run!

Cancer. Radiation. IV lines. Insurance deductibles. Your child may die. Imagine being a parent who is instantly plunged into the nightmare of caring for a seriously ill child while navigating through a sea of medical procedures and insurance regulations. Such is the case for the parents of Carly Trejo, who attends Kindergarten at Spanish Schoolhouse and is a schoolmate of my daughter Macy. Carly was recently diagnosed with Stage 4 kidney cancer, also called Wilms tumor.

For Carly's family, this life-altering event has included a huge financial burden. The children and parents in her Kindergarten class, along with many other friends, have stepped up to the plate to help this family in a tangible way with their mounting medical bills. All of these supporters and helpers have been dubbed "Carly's Angels."

Her class holds a bake sale before school almost every week to raise funds for her care. One of her classmates, Jacob, is there every week with his mom Lisa, selling donuts, kolaches, muffins, and coffee for Carly's benefit. I have known Jacob since he was a baby; our kids have played often in one another's homes, and it is such a thrill to see him at the tender age of five years old volunteering his time to help a friend in need.

Another fundraiser will take place on Saturday, November 6 at 10:00 (registration is at 9:30). It is a one mile Fun Run (for me, a walk!). If you live in the D/FW area, this is a great opportunity to get your children involved in serving others, and have fun family time while doing so.

Mika and Macy have been told that Carly is very sick and that her parents need help paying for the hospitals and doctors, so our family is going to donate money and run/walk with all Carly's other friends and fans. The girls are most excited about the fact that after the run, pizza will be served, and face painting and balloon animals will be available. The park playground will be a great backdrop to join with the other participants to celebrate the money raised and support precious Carly in her battle with cancer.

Hope to see you there!

For more info on the Fun Run go to: http://www.carlysangels.myevent.com or contact Anne White at anne@fab-studio.com

Technology in Biblical times?

This poem is for those of us, (myself included) who are so busy staying "connected" through technology that we overlook the simplicity and transformative power of "unplugging" and communing with God each day.

Did Jesus use the Internet at the sermon on the mount? Did he ever use a Facebook update to get his message out? Did the disciples carry Blackberries as they traveled all about? Did Jesus use the Internet at the sermon on the mount?

Did the apostle use a laptop with wi-fi to reach some? Did he use an e-mail alias such as Paul@Rome.com? Did the man from Macedonia send a text message to say come? Did the apostle use a laptop with wi-fi to reach some?

Did Moses use a Xbox controller at the parting of the sea? And a global positioning system to show him where to be? Did he write the law on tablets or burn them on CD? Did Moses use a a Xbox controller at the parting of the sea?

Did Jesus really die for us that Friday on the tree? Or was it just a hologram, perhaps some photoshop wizardry? Can you find a clip on You Tube to play on your PC? Did Jesus really die for us that Friday on the tree?

If in your life the voice of God is sometimes hard to hear, With other voices calling, He doesn't touch your ear. Then set aside your smart phone, iPod, and unplug your fancy gear, Open us that dusty Bible, and talk to Him in prayer.

---author unknown

An archaelogical dig at my house

Shovel? Check! Pick? Check! Masonry trowel? Check! Let's go on an archaeological dig! Destination: my daughters' closets (really)!

Mika and Macy's closets are filled to the brim with toys. There is the strata of toys from Christmas 2007, then a layer from the birthday intake of 2008. Followed by Easter gifts from 2008, then some toys I couldn't say "no" to at a garage sale because they were so inexpensive, a layer of second-hand toys from a friend who cleaned out her closet...and on and on it continues building upward until the present. In between the larger toys, like sediment that fills the cracks between ancient artifacts, are tons of tiny toys (stickers, pencil erasers, balls and jacks, yo-yos, Polly Pockets, and fast-food prizes), acquired from Christmas stockings, stuffed Easter eggs, goody bags from birthday parties, and who knows where else.

So, it comes as no surprise to me that children in the United States represent 4% of the world's population, but have 40% of the world's toys. The question is: are my children really better off with all the stuff? Do they need these things to keep them entertained? Is this what a quality childhood is all about?

Dolly Parton, in her autobiography, paints a picture of an impoverished, but happy childhood, filled with family and fun, but almost no store-bought toys. Dolly's father had to scratch out a living as a farmer and feed his twelve children, all of who shared a one room house. The necessities of life took all the resources of the family, so the kids were on their own as far as entertaining themselves. Dolly explains that she and her siblings learned to be creative in their play. A few delightful antidotes:

"(Mom) once made me a doll out of a corncob. She made it a little dress out of corn shucks and used corn silk for her hair. Daddy got the poker hot in the fire and used the tip to burn two black eyes into the corncob. I thought she was beautiful, and I named her Tiny Tasseltop."

"Another thing we loved to do was to catch June bugs and tie them to a string. I'm sure it was more fun for us than the poor weighted-down June bugs, but we had a ball flying what we called our "lectric kites." You tried to get a real good fat June bug with a lot of lifting power. Sometimes you could just fantasize about him being able to lift you right off the ground to where you could soar up among the clouds and look down at the trees and the fields. That kind of blissful thought would sometimes come to a sudden halt when your June bug would sacrifice his leg in the name of freedom and buzz off across the pasture."

"The most fun for us kids were the poke berries that grew on the stem of the plant. They are dark purple, and when you mash them, the juice is like dye. We used to paint our skin with poke berries so that it looked like we were wearing bracelets or wristwatches. Sometimes we would paint what we called "Jesus sandals" onto our feet. We would dress us in gunnysacks for robes and carry tobacco stakes as our walking sticks and go gallivantin' all over the countryside pretending we were the disciples, or at least some kind of biblical types. We felt real holy, but somehow our kinship with Jesus was lost on Mama when we came home with those awful purple stains on us."

My own mother grew up grew up the daughter of a refinery worker in a little West Texas town. They had few games and toys, and Nintendo, Game Cube, and Wii had not been invented. So what did she and her brother do? They took the family bird dog and a lunch bag, and headed down to the creek for a day of fishing, hide-and-seek, skipping rocks, and daydreaming while they gazed at the billowy clouds in the sky.

I survey the literally hundreds of toys that entertain my children so they can be kept safely confined within the walls of our home to avoid the remotest possibility of being snatched by a stranger. Are they "richer" or "poorer" than their grandmother, who was free to enjoy nature and simple pleasures (without hovering parents) while she wiled away summer days at the little creek near their home?

What is the answer to the over-abundance of toys that seems to permeate most American households? I have no idea. Since the girls are back in school, I will excavate their closets and toy boxes. A lot of the things they have not played with in a while will "disappear" (they'll be placed on the front porch under cover of night and picked up by the Salvation Army before they are discovered by the girls). We cut down on the number of Christmas gifts Mika and Macy received from us last year and plan to cut back even more in 2010. However, these temporary fixes are just a drop in the bucket, and there seems to be a constant inflow of toys and such, no matter what we do.

Honestly, I'd like to get rid of ALL the toys and start from scratch, maybe even make some of our own, like Dolly and her siblings did. However, to banish the beloved junk (er, I mean toys) would definitely earn me the Worst Mother of the Year award from my children and perhaps even trigger a visit from Child Protective Services. So, until I find a better solution, I'll continue to trip over, pick up, sort, and beg my children to put their toys where they belong.

Thousands of years from now, when future archaeologists are actually digging up our home, what are they going to make of the many toys that occupied nearly every cranny of our living space? Will they wonder why we spent so much time and money on plastic junk instead of going outside to play with rocks, leaves, dirt, acorns, and sticks?

Oh, what I would give for my children to have a carefree day at a bubbling creek, being watched over by our dogs, enjoying fresh air, and playing with all the bountiful "toys" found in nature!

Another take on Sodom and Gomorrah

Homosexuality and Sodom and Gomorrah go together like peanut butter and jelly, like fall and football, like Facebook and status updates. You can't talk about one without talking about the other--right?

After all, Sodom and Gomorrah are inexorably intertwined with homosexual behavior. Sodom is, of course, the root of the word sodomy, which Wikipedia defines as "an act of 'unnatural sex.'"

Ask anyone in our culture why the Bible says Sodom and Gomorrah was destroyed, and practically everyone (whether they believe the Bible or not) will say it was destroyed because of homosexuality. The homosexual ties to Sodom and Gomorrah are part of our national conscience--regardless of one's spiritual beliefs or lack thereof. Late night comics, activists, politicians pushing various agendas, pastors, and even rock 'n roll bands, discuss, joke, ridicule, and invoke the homosexual sins of these two cities.

At forty-one years old, someone pointed out to me (in a book I was reading, not in church) that there is more to the tale of Sodom and Gomorrah than the simplistic storyline that "God rained down fire and sulphur to destroy the perverted and wicked homosexuals."

Note: I am NOT dismissing the realities of sexual sin or saying such sin does not matter to God. However, I believe most Christians have seized upon this aspect of the Sodom and Gomorrah story while ignoring a crucial element.

The prophet Ezekiel was tirelessly warning Israel about coming judgment and the fall of Jerusalem. He explains the evil and degradation of Sodom and Gomorrah in this way in Ezekiel 16:49: "Now this was the sin of your sister Sodom: She and her daughters were arrogant, overfed, and unconcerned; they did not help the poor and needy." What!!!! The residents of Sodom sound a lot like most people in 21st century America, and honestly, like most people sitting in our church pews, myself included.

If I am brutally honest (and this is painful to admit), I have to confess that I want the world to revolve around Me! I want to control my own life and the lives of everyone around Me, so that I can be happy, comfortable, and satisfied at all times. Everyone needs to be focused on my goals, my dreams, my desires, and my longings. I do NOT want to be upset, irritated, hurt, bothered, or offended by others. Instead I DO want others to esteem Me, praise Me, cater to Me, love Me, and support Me. I spend as much time each day as I can making sure that all of the above is firmly in place. I'm in love with Me!

When I stake out a position loving myself above anybody else, I am being arrogant.

I only have to step on the scale to see that I am literally overfed; it is easy for me to down half a pan (at least) of Ghirardelli double-chocolate brownies by myself. However, I believe the word "overfed" in this verse entails more than just calorie count. I think it is about over consumption in general--gorging myself on not just food for the stomach, but clothes at the mall (my closet is already full), dust-collecting knick knacks for my home, and the latest toys for my children, with an ever-increasing desire for more.

I am overfed, in more ways than one.

Whether I say it or not, most of the time my attitude is, "I expend a lot of effort making sure I'm happy and my family is happy, so I really don't have the time, brain cycles, energy, or interest to worry about what suffering might be going on elsewhere in the world. I don't really even want to know about brain damage due to malnutrition, the mass rape of women in the Congo, or children with rotting teeth in Appalachia, because that might put a damper on all the fun I'm having. Please don't disturb my peaceful cozy existence with other's problems, because 48 Hours mystery is getting ready to come on, and I need to get myself some Blue Bell ice cream and relax in my recliner."

This reflects a heart attitude of being unconcerned.

What about helping the poor and needy? As my awareness of the needs around me and throughout the world have grown, our family has made a slight uptick in our giving to charities and serving others. But is my heart where God wants it to be? Am I really sacrificing things that I would like to have so that others can live?

If not, then it is hard to say I care about the poor and needy.

As a married heterosexual woman, I thought the lessons of Sodom and Gomorrah were largely irrelevant to me. But then I realized, how can I, and other Christians, embrace the lessons on sexual purity found in the Bible, yet ignore the (many) lessons about caring for the poor and needy? Could it be, as David Platt suggests, that "The difference is that one involves a social taboo in the church and the other involves a social norm in the church."? Have we become so accustomed to consumerism, greed, materialism, and self-fulfillment (in our own lives and/or the lives of other Christians) that we no longer really consider them a sin?

The expression "there's nothing new under the sun" is true. The heart attitudes of the people living in the ancient cities of Sodom and Gomorrah reflect many of my heart attitudes as well. I hope I can learn from Ezekiel's words by repenting of my constant focus on myself. Instead, I want to learn to see, care for, and love others the way God does.

In Bed with a Mosquito

The Bill Gates foundation has spent $456 million to empower African farmers, $355 million to eradicate polio, and $1.5 billion to vaccinate children worldwide.

Compared to this, what can I, an average American, do? Is there something I'm holding on to that I need to let go in order to transform the life of someone else--across town or across the globe? This is a question that was asked and answered by the Salwen family, who has chronicled their experience in the new book "The Power of Half--One Family's Decision to Stop Taking and Start Giving Back."

I have not read the book, but I know enough about the premise and this family's journey to ask myself some interesting questions about my role in making the world a better place for everyone.

The Salwen family was living the super-duper American Dream in Atlanta, Georgia. The mom, dad, and teenage son and daughter had tons of dough and all the things money can buy--including a beautiful and enormous home.

One day Hannah, then 14 years old, looked around and noticed the disparity between the haves and the have-nots, and wanted her family to do something. They were already volunteering for Habitat for Humanity and working at the food bank, as well as writing checks to charities at Christmastime. But Hannah wanted them to do more. When her parent's asked her if she would be willing to give up her home, she called their bluff and answered, "Yes!"

Thus began a series of family conversations that culminated in them selling their home, moving into a home one-half the size, and donating the difference to charity. The family of four spent months educating themselves about the plight of the poor and what their money could do to make a difference. They didn't just talk about issues--they watched videos, participated in the 30-hour famine (a program run by World Vision), interviewed heads of charities, and volunteered at homeless shelters.

Finally, the Salwen's selected the Hunger Project, a non-profit that helps some of the most poverty stricken areas of the world . Their goal is not just to put a band-aid on current problems, but to help create permanent and sustainable solutions. The funds were used in two areas of eastern Ghana--both epicenters received a meeting place, a bank for micro loans, a food storage facility, and a health clinic. They even travelled as a family to Ghana to meet the people who were benefiting from the funds they donated, bringing their project full circle.

The Salwen family bonded over this project. They spent a lot of time together discussing options, asking questions, encouraging each other, challenging long-held opinions about poverty, and becoming more empathetic. Through their journey, they all grasped a vision of a world bigger than themselves.

The Salwen's will be the first to admit that they had more than enough house and moving into a smaller one really wasn't a huge sacrifice. So the moral of their story is not that everyone needs to sell their house and move into one half the size--that is not reasonable or practical for most people.

But their experiment encourages me to ask: could I give up half my TV viewing (sorry, Oprah, 48 Hours Mystery, Fox News, and American Idol) to volunteer to help others in need? Could I give away half the clothes in my closet? What about half the food in my pantry? Half my Starbucks money?

What small, intentional, reductions can my family make in order to improve the lives of others? In the scheme of things, do my small efforts even matter? Maybe the answer is best found in a quote by Anita Roddick, founder of the Body Shop: "if you think you're too small to make a difference, you've never been in bed with a mosquito!"