Advent Conspiracy

Listen to me: I know how to keep Christmas sacred! I have three nativity sets displayed in my house, a gold-plated "Jesus is the Reason for the Season" pin, and Christmas praise music by Maranatha playing in my minivan. Oh, yeah, I even show up to church service each Sunday in December AND on Christmas Eve. What more could Jesus want from me?

Well, he wants my heart. I may think I have that one covered since I gave my life to Him and became his follower long ago, but does the way I "do Christmas" reflect spiritual transformation, or are my celebrations awash in materialism and consumerism with a little "Jesus stuff" thrown in here and there for good measure?

I am teaching my daughters that Jesus is worthy of all their love and devotion and of supreme importance in their lives. But when Mika and Macy see me running like a little hamster in an elf hat on a red and green wheel, spinning furiously, trying to keep up with everyone else and then dragging myself off about midnight on Christmas Eve, frazzled, frantic, frustrated, and fried, what am I really teaching them?

After much thought and some soul searching, I found Advent Conspiracy (http://www.adventconspiracy.com/) and, in the words of Oprah, had an "ah-ha moment." They are about getting back to basics at Christmas, and their goals are simple:

Worship Fully

Spend Less

Give More

Love All

Obviously, implementation of these goals is going to look quite different in each person's/family's life. Let me give you just a few ideas that my family has:

We will be putting fewer gifts under the tree for the girls this year. They will each receive three gifts from us, plus a few things in their stockings. (This is in addition to gifts they will receive from other family members). We will focus on giving Mika and Macy our "presence" instead. "Relational giving" means we will spend time playing in the park, going to the movies, reading their favorite Christmas books, helping them bake and decorate sugar cookies, building forts in the front room, and watching them act out the story of the first Christmas. Money we save will be given to those who are less fortunate than we are.

After estimating that we spend approximately $150 on high-gloss photo cards, our Christmas letter, and postage, we decided to forgo paper greetings in favor of an e-card. Now, I am aware that everyone we know waits breathlessly at their mailbox to receive our Christmas card filled with a cherry-picked collage of pictures of our adorable kids and seemingly perfect family (not), and our witty, rhyming letter recapping the Jarrell's year. Yes, for our family and friends, receipt of our Christmas card/letter is the highlight of the season, and many will be crestfallen that we won't be sending them out. (yeah, right).

In any case, when we realized we could donate the $150 to Water is Basic (http://www.waterisbasic.org/) and help to provide clean drinking water for people in Sudan, we decided this was a better return on investment in the long run.

Jesus was a servant: he came to serve. So, what better way to honor him than to serve others with a heart full of gratitude for the his extravagant gift to us, over 2000 years ago? We are planning several volunteer projects that we can do as a family.

Amazingly, and I really can't explain it, but when our family takes the time to love and care for others who are less fortunate, it seems like this time is multiplied back to us! Also, the love we share greatly increases the joy and peace we feel in our hearts. It is a win-win proposition!

We don't have this all figured out; we are just trying to find some ways to tweak our Christmas celebrations and traditions to reflect the heart of our Savior. There are moments I think we go too far, moments I think we don't go far enough, and moments I feel that we're in the right spot for us.

Next year, we will probably re-evaluate again. We may decide to send out Christmas cards in 2011. We may decide three gifts for the children is too many. We may change the types of volunteering we are involved in, or what causes we donate money to.

Whatever we do, I hope that, in the words of Advent Conspiracy, we can remember that "Christmas can (still) change the world!"

Hard Candy Christmas

Pretend you are in a Christmas time machine! We are headed to the year 1945! Destination: a one room house in the Smokey Mountains, where a little Dolly Parton and her 11 siblings are overwhelmed with excitement at the thought of having a store-bought gift under the tree. Let's listen in:

"Somehow Mama and Daddy always managed for each of us to get one store-bought gift. Regardless of what it was, it was a thing of wonder to be revered, looked at with slow eyes, felt with tender hands, and relished for its newness. Best of all was that "it's really mine" feeling that could carry you around on a cloud for days, or until it was replaced by that "it's really broken" feeling.

The boys' gifts usually included fireworks, and they'd be outside announcing that fact to the world as soon as a match was found. For today, tin cans would become space capsules, finger-formed dams would be blown, and many a German matchbox would no longer threaten Allied troops...

We girls usually got a little pink plastic doll with its own white cloth diaper held in place by a tiny gold safety pin. That may sound really cheap, and I'm sure it was. But for us, just the fact that it was plastic made it different from the ordinary things we saw in the holler. There was no way this could have been homemade. Unless you're home happened to be a sweatshop in Taiwan.

Those little plastic dolls instantly became the focus of whatever motherly instances the Parton girls had. Of course we all had one, and they basically all looked alike. If you looked closely enough, and of course we did, you could see little imperfections in the plastic that identified each doll. We "mothers" would get to know our dolls intimately. Inevitably, some body's would get lost or eaten by a cow or thrown down a well by an ill-tempered brother; sometimes there would be a "baby snatching."

A fight would usually follow, consisting more of accusations and name calling than anything else. "That's my doll," the rightful mother would cry. "See, it's got two little extra globs of plastic on it's left ear." On a good day, though, each mother would care for her own plastic treasure, and all would be well with the world.

We would scavenge to find things to serve as a crib and bedclothes. The more industrious ones would even fashion clothes for the doll. I always liked mine just the way it arrived on Christmas morning, in its special cloth diaper with the shiny gold pin."

Wow! Dolly's family may have been poor, but the children were rich in appreciation for even the smallest gifts, and they used so much creativity in their play.

Certainly, I am grateful that I can buy my girls more than one dollar store toy for Christmas, but I feel like by giving them so much, they have come to expect it as "their right," and often don't truly appreciate all the gifts we put in front of them. I would love for our house to have fewer toys. I'd like to find a balance between Mika and Macy having nothing and a having everything, like owning a few toys they really treasure and appreciate, instead of a house full of cheap, imported, lead-laced pieces of junk that probably cost pennies on the dollar to manufacture. Easier said than done, right? I may never figure out how to tame the "toy beast" in our lives, but I can smile when I think about little Dolly Parton, clutching her tiny store-bought doll with so much wonder and delight.

Priceless gifts--100% satisfaction guaranteed!

"It is more blessed to give than to receive." Acts 20:35

(also quoted frequently by my Mom when I was growing up)

If you and your family are looking for some ways to bless others this holiday season, here are some ideas. My family has done most, but not all of these. Certainly this is not an all-inclusive list; maybe it will be a springboard for you to brainstorm about other ways you can love and serve others during this holiday season.

Or, you may already have your own giving traditions--perhaps things passed down from your relatives, outreaches that your church sponsors, or other causes that are close to your heart. In that case, I would love to hear what you have done and how it has impacted you--I'm always looking for new ideas!

1) greet the troops at DFW airport--wish them a Merry Christmas and let them know you appreciate the gift of their service! Flights arrive daily: call 972-574-0392 for information about the following day's arrival times.

2)Bake Christmas cookies and deliver them to a neighbor or someone who needs to have their day brightened. (slice and bake is OK!)

3) Help your child select a new toy during the Christmas season and donate it to Toys for Tots. See http://www.toysfortots.com/ for drop-off locations.

4) During these down times, many families are struggling just to put food on the table. Buy some extra food staples and put them in a collection box at your grocery store, office, or church.

5) Have people on your list who are hard to buy for or who already seem to have everything? You can honor them by giving a gift in their name through World Vision. There are many so many things to choose from--sheep, pigs, cows, fishing kits, warm clothing, school supplies, and immunizations for people in the developing world, to name a few. You can view their Christmas catalog online at http://www.worldvision.org/; you can also request a hard copy.

6) Pick up a poinsettia at the store (optional) and visit a nursing home or retirement center. Ask the director to recommend a patient who rarely gets visitors and would enjoy a few minutes of company. This is a great spur-of-the-moment activity--it does not involve preplanning or require you to show up at any particular time.

7) It is too late to participate in this for Christmas 2010, but you might keep it in mind for next year. Fill a shoe-box with Christmas gifts to send to a child in an impoverished part of the world through http://www.samaritianspurse.org/. Shopping for and packing these gifts is one of my girls' favorite Christmas activities.

8) Take some inexpensive Christmas cards and write a personal note thanking a family for their wonderful Christmas light display. Keep them in the car with you (along with a roll of tape), and when you or your children are awed by some holiday decorations, leave a note on their door thanking them for their efforts.

9) Get a roll of quarters from the bank and keep it in your car. Anytime you or your children are about to enter a store with a Salvation Army kettle, you will have change handy to donate.

10) This year,you can adopt a child in need from the Salvation Army Angel Tree online! Simply select a recipient, buy the gifts, and then drop them off at the location you designate. It's that easy! http://www.dfwangeltree.org/

11) Donate used toys to Christian Community Action or a women's shelter--this is a great project to do before Christmas when lots of new toys will be received.

12) Write a note to someone who has lost a loved one this year--acknowledge that you know that it will be a difficult holiday season without their (brother, son, wife, mom, etc.) and let them know you are praying for them.

If you want a way to help your children really grasp the concept of giving their time/money/gifts/resources, here is an idea that a stole, er, I mean, I borrowed :) Take a shoe box and wrap the box and lid separately in wrapping paper. cut a slit in the top of the box. Make a little sign that says "gifts for Jesus" or write it directly on the box.

During the Christmas season, any time a member of your family does something nice for someone else, write it on a slip of paper and place it in the box. Then, some time on Christmas day, open the box and read all the slips of paper, reminding them that these are our gifts to Jesus for his birthday.

I'll close this post by quoting Buddha, which is something I am not typically in the habit of doing. However, he really sums up what I think all of us feel when we invest our time, money and resources in the lives of others:

"Before giving, the mind of the giver is happy, while giving, the mind of the giver is peaceful; and having given, the mind of the giver is uplifted."

A Christmas martyr--ME!

"I'm just trying to survive December."

"We are unbelievably busy." "

If I don't get all this done, Christmas won't happen at my house."

When someone asks me how I am doing during the holiday season, are statements like the above the best testimony I have to offer as a follower of Christ? Does anything about my mindset and frenetic pace resembles the peace, love, and joy that I claim Jesus came to give me?

Who will be drawn to a Savior who appears to induce his followers to stampede through the mall, dive into debt, drag themselves to party after party, wrap gifts in coordinated paper and bow sets, set out a lavish display of lights, moan and groan about how busy they are, and then wind up exhausted, all in honor of his birthday?

Don't get me wrong; I LOVE the Christmas season!!! I look forward to decorating our tree with ornaments made by my grandmother, I love to make sugar cookies and other treats with my girls, I love to listen to Christmas music and drive around looking at our neighbors' light displays, and I enjoy the looks on my daughter's faces as they exuberantly rip the paper off a brand new Barbie doll or razor scooter.

But, especially since I have had children, I have begun running myself ragged at an increasingly alarming rate. I feel I have lost all balance; often, I don't enjoy the things that I am doing. Instead, I am just doing them because I believe I'm obligated, or because "we've always done it that way." Sometimes my attitude stinks, and I snap at those I love, which my family can attest to. The expression on my face as I don my holiday sweater says it all: "I am a martyr for the cause of Christmas merriment, suffering to make everything appear perfect so my family can have the holiday season of their dreams."

I have decided it is time for a redo! So, our family is going to still celebrate Christmas and do the things that we really enjoy, but we are going to delete other things that drain our time and money and leave us frazzled and broke.

Here are a few things we are going to do differently:

1) I have cooked a bunch of soups and casseroles this fall and put them in the freezer. I have enough food stocked to feed us most nights when we don't have a party or other engagement. I don't have to worry about what my family is going to eat for dinner. That means when I am whipping up something in my kitchen, it will be a seasonal favorite (like Hello Dollies or chocolate bon-bons) that I relish making!

2) We are going to learn to say "no," even to some good things. Neither we nor our children have to go to every party, event, or celebration that we are invited to. Some nights, it would be more enjoyable and soothing for all of us to sit in front of the fire and the Christmas tree eating popcorn, drinking hot cocoa, and listening to Christmas music, so that is what we will do.

3) I am a huge fan online shopping! In a few hours, I can get the bulk of my shopping done, and have gifts delivered right to my door! This can be done while the girls are in school or after bedtime, and there is no hurry, rush, and stress of going to a zillion different stores, fighting crowds, and trying to find a parking place.

4) We are going to reach out to others this season who need love and assistance. Our goal is to not spend more time and money on ourselves than we spend on those who are poor, hungry, afflicted, sick, and lonely. I am sure we will fall far short in this area, but I believe it is a worthy goal. If we want to truly honor Jesus' birthday, there is no better way than to genuinely care for the people (all of us) that he came to save! (Some ideas for this will be coming in another post).

Ironically, I expect that doing and spending less this Christmas will not decrease the joy, peace, and love that we claim we desire, instead, I believe it will increase it. My hope is that on December 26, we will not be staring at piles and piles of wrapping paper, Christmas decorations which have to be taken down, gifts and toys that have already lost their shine, bloated credit card bills, and wonder why we went to so much trouble and stressed ourselves out in the first place.

Instead, I hope to look back on a month that, although harried at times, was calm, enjoyable, and had many memorable moments. I hope that we will feel blessed and like we have blessed others as well. I hope to have taken the time to slow down enough to really spend time with Jesus (it's his birthday, after all), and feel we have honored Him with our thoughts, our time, and our pocketbooks.

Perhaps, this year, for the first time, my response when asked how I am doing during the holidays can be:

"I can't believe how blessed I am."

"I am thoroughly enjoying myself."

"God is good!"

Hustle and Bustle Sabbath

What is up with all the kids activities on Sunday? Has anyone else noticed a huge uptick in the volume of games, tournaments, performances, practices, and birthday parties scheduled for the day of the week that is meant to give us all a break?

Of the ten commandments, the command to "keep the Sabbath" is not a rule to be followed as much as it is a gift to us. We need one day a week to take it easy, break from work, relax with family and friends, and worship together if we so choose. The same God who created the universe chose to take a day of rest as an example to us, because he knows we need it--mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

In reading the Old Testament, I am struck by how much the Israelites had on their plates--growing their own food, caring for flocks of animals, cleaning, cooking, and doing laundry without any of our modern conveniences, raising very large families, building their own homes, often travelling a great distance on foot or horseback for food and supplies, and protecting themselves from marauding invaders. Yet on the Sabbath (which for them, was Saturday), everyone put everything down, took a deep breath, and rested so they would be rejuvenated for the coming weeks' work.

However, in the 21st century, most Americans have decided we're too busy to stop being busy. The break neck pace of modern life makes a regular time to slow down and rest more necessary than ever, yet some families' Sunday schedules are beginning to rival their ultra-packed Saturday schedules.

Children are suffering more from stress and anxiety than previous generations, and their has even been a term coined for over scheduled children that are pressured to do more and more: Hurried Child Syndrome. Could part of the problem be not just the amount of homework, activities, social engagements, etc., but the fact that there is not even one day they can count on to slow down and recharge their batteries?

I am not a legalist; I am not suggesting that it is wrong to participate in any activities on Sunday. I just wish that it were more of exception, and not the rule. For example, if Mika and Macy had a tournament, play-off game, or performance a few times a year on a Sunday, that would not be a problem. I'm not real keen on Sunday birthday parties, but I would gladly let my girls attend a Sunday party if one of their good friends was celebrating her birthday.

A number of people I have talked to said that they, too, wish that there weren't so many activities scheduled on Sunday, but then they say with resignation, "but if my child wants to [play baseball, be in this musical production, compete at this level in dance, etc.] we have no choice than to show up when we're told, and that includes Sundays."

Which brings me to the question: when did we, as a society, decide that it was okey-dokey to schedule so many activities, as a matter of course, on Sunday? I grew up next door to my best friend Donna, who had three older brothers. All four were athletes, playing many different sports in community leagues and in school. Donna was also into cheer leading, choir, and piano. Her parents were very busy Monday through Saturday shuttling kids to practices, games, rehearsals, etc. However, on Sunday, with rare exceptions, the activities for their children ceased, and kids, their parents, coaches, and teachers took a much needed break.

My kids are still young and I'm sure in a few short years I'll probably have to eat my words because they may both be involved in activities that require regular Sunday participation. However, we will think long and hard before committing to an Sunday activity that is going to change what we really like to do on Sunday--relax, spend time together as a family, invite people into our home for a leisurely lunch, and worship together at church.

Why should we have to make a choice between allowing our kids be involved in the things that they want to do and having a day of rest? Does anyone else have concerns about how busy Sundays have become? Any ideas on how to keep Sundays sane would be appreciated!

Run, Angels, Run!

Cancer. Radiation. IV lines. Insurance deductibles. Your child may die. Imagine being a parent who is instantly plunged into the nightmare of caring for a seriously ill child while navigating through a sea of medical procedures and insurance regulations. Such is the case for the parents of Carly Trejo, who attends Kindergarten at Spanish Schoolhouse and is a schoolmate of my daughter Macy. Carly was recently diagnosed with Stage 4 kidney cancer, also called Wilms tumor.

For Carly's family, this life-altering event has included a huge financial burden. The children and parents in her Kindergarten class, along with many other friends, have stepped up to the plate to help this family in a tangible way with their mounting medical bills. All of these supporters and helpers have been dubbed "Carly's Angels."

Her class holds a bake sale before school almost every week to raise funds for her care. One of her classmates, Jacob, is there every week with his mom Lisa, selling donuts, kolaches, muffins, and coffee for Carly's benefit. I have known Jacob since he was a baby; our kids have played often in one another's homes, and it is such a thrill to see him at the tender age of five years old volunteering his time to help a friend in need.

Another fundraiser will take place on Saturday, November 6 at 10:00 (registration is at 9:30). It is a one mile Fun Run (for me, a walk!). If you live in the D/FW area, this is a great opportunity to get your children involved in serving others, and have fun family time while doing so.

Mika and Macy have been told that Carly is very sick and that her parents need help paying for the hospitals and doctors, so our family is going to donate money and run/walk with all Carly's other friends and fans. The girls are most excited about the fact that after the run, pizza will be served, and face painting and balloon animals will be available. The park playground will be a great backdrop to join with the other participants to celebrate the money raised and support precious Carly in her battle with cancer.

Hope to see you there!

For more info on the Fun Run go to: http://www.carlysangels.myevent.com or contact Anne White at anne@fab-studio.com

Technology in Biblical times?

This poem is for those of us, (myself included) who are so busy staying "connected" through technology that we overlook the simplicity and transformative power of "unplugging" and communing with God each day.

Did Jesus use the Internet at the sermon on the mount? Did he ever use a Facebook update to get his message out? Did the disciples carry Blackberries as they traveled all about? Did Jesus use the Internet at the sermon on the mount?

Did the apostle use a laptop with wi-fi to reach some? Did he use an e-mail alias such as Paul@Rome.com? Did the man from Macedonia send a text message to say come? Did the apostle use a laptop with wi-fi to reach some?

Did Moses use a Xbox controller at the parting of the sea? And a global positioning system to show him where to be? Did he write the law on tablets or burn them on CD? Did Moses use a a Xbox controller at the parting of the sea?

Did Jesus really die for us that Friday on the tree? Or was it just a hologram, perhaps some photoshop wizardry? Can you find a clip on You Tube to play on your PC? Did Jesus really die for us that Friday on the tree?

If in your life the voice of God is sometimes hard to hear, With other voices calling, He doesn't touch your ear. Then set aside your smart phone, iPod, and unplug your fancy gear, Open us that dusty Bible, and talk to Him in prayer.

---author unknown